Review: Before I Let You Go by Kelly Rimmer

Title: Before I Let You Go

Author: Kelly Rimmer

Published: April 2018, Graydon House

Format: ARC Paperback, 384 pages

Source: Publisher via Little Bird Publicity

Summary:

The 2:00 a.m. call is
the first time Lexie Vidler has heard her sister’s voice in years. Annie
is a drug addict, a thief, a liar—and in trouble, again. Lexie has
always bailed Annie out, given her money, a place to sleep, sent her to
every kind of rehab. But this time, she’s not just strung out—she’s
pregnant and in premature labor. If she goes to the hospital, she’ll
lose custody of her baby—maybe even go to prison. But the alternative is
unthinkable.

As weeks unfold, Lexie finds herself caring for her
fragile newborn niece while her carefully ordered life is collapsing
around her. She’s in danger of losing her job, and her fiancé only has
so much patience for Annie’s drama. In court-ordered rehab, Annie
attempts to halt her downward spiral by confronting long-buried secrets
from the sisters’ childhood, ghosts that Lexie doesn’t want to face. But
will the journey heal Annie, or lead her down a darker path?

Both
candid and compassionate, Before I Let You Go explores a hotly divisive
topic and asks how far the ties of family love can be stretched before
they finally break.

My thoughts: This is my first time reading Kelly Rimmer and what an emotional, tough read it was. I don’t know if all Kelly’s books take you through such a roller-coaster of emotions as this one did, but WOW…I read this book in a day and was emotionally drained after finishing it. It is a good story, an important one in many ways, but it is also a tough one to read at times, so be warned.

Before I go any further with my review, I’m just going to put out there that there are many triggers in this book that might make it hard for some people to read. There’s the opioid addiction and pregnancy – a very hot, divisive topic, I know. There’s also abuse – both physical and drug use. It’s not an easy read at times, but it’s written in such a way that you become so invested with the characters such that the characters outshine the hard parts in a way, if that makes sense.

This book highlights just how strong the bond between sisters is, no matter how complicated that relationship might be. If you have a sister, or a close cousin, this book will have you wondering the entire time, what you would do if you were in Lexie’s position. And you might even find yourself wavering on the decision as you delve deeper into the book and more of their backstory comes out. I think that is the beauty and complexity of this novel – the way it is told. We have Lexie’s chapters told in present time, dealing with everything that is going on here and now. And then we have Annie’s chapters, which are told as journal entries and go back in time to fill in what has happened in the girls’ past – this really helps not only round out the story, but also explain why Annie turned out the way she did. These letters at times are gut-wrenching, but answer so many questions.

This book very effectively highlights addiction on both sides – the addict’s side and the family’s side. It shows the emotions and the whirlwind that everyone gets caught up in when the addict is using again. But it also shows the turmoil and frustrations that come along when the addict wants to get clean – rehab or no rehab, cold turkey or their own plan, etc. It’s not an easy path – on either side – and yet Kelly Rimmer is able to very clearly paint the picture of chaos that addiction brings to everyone’s life.

This book also shows how far we are willing to go for those we love. You might think that answer is easy, and most times it is, but there comes a point when you might be forced to make that unthinkable, hard decision. This book explores that and so much more. It is a story to be entered into with an open heart and an open mind – for you will have opinions but once you start getting into the meat of the story, you might find yourself rethinking all those preconceived notions.

This book evokes so many questions and thoughts as you are reading it, as well as many feelings. It is a very powerful, intense read and one that I certainly will be thinking about for a long time to come.